Why do I try so hard to be liked? How do I just be myself, attract others to me and feel confident in my own skin?

By Felicity Muscat

Why do i try so hard to be liked

No part of this article can be used or copied without the Authors permission

So the question is why do i try so hard to be liked, why do i need people to accept me and why do i fear rejection to begin with and more importantly how do i not care about this so i can feel confident socially and not try so hard to be liked. Having experienced this in my teens and early twenties my driving motivator to fix this was i no longer wanted to feel separated, i no longer wanted to feel different to others, and in order for me to do that i needed to figure out why i felt this way to begin with especially considering i thought i was more of a introvert, but what i dint know was that previous experiences had shaped my [personality to be that ways when at my core it wasn’t who i was. the first thing i had to figure out, was what causes introversion, well introversion is the Psyche withdrawing internally to protect itself from painful experiences, the world of psychology calls it introversion and it gets energy from itself, by human nature we are social species and having previously thought i was a introvert was very wrong

If you would like to discover how to be confident and self accepting and confident in your own skin so you can confident in yourself and be independent to what others think of you so you can attract people who are a match to you then this article is for you

Did you know that you can actually become free from this negativity and fear of rejection or not being liked if you understand what causes us to fear it in the first place ? What i learnt and discovered is that previous memories and experiences wether it be it be at home or in early school years shapes out perception of ourself. So what this means is that if we are rejected by our family and friends we become susceptible to believing there is something wrong or different about us and that noone likes me and then after this experience as adults we strive to not be ourselves, but try hard to be liked and not feel the way we felt when this happened to us in the past so we can avoid feeling rejected again.

Do you ever wonder how that personality characteristic got inside of you? Well it happened after experiences that made you take on beliefs about yourself that are not true, and children in the school playground not liking us, is definitely not a good enough basis to decide there is now something wrong with us. Let me explain,

Children by nature have been programmed to choose friends and peers that will increase their social status therefore if you look like you will not increase their social status or popularity, they will reject you to save the pain of them befriending someone who to others too may not like, out of fear they will get rejected themselves. So the question is not, why am i different it understanding, Its a unconscious strategy they use to fit in themselves, so if your racking your brain trying to figure out why, thats why and it defiantly has no reflection on you, or your character or any indication that there is something wrong with you.

Heres the secret, the only reason that you are afraid of rejection, is that you are afraid what it happening might mean about you, for example your afraid that if people do not like you it means your not likeable, you wont fit in, no-one likes me , i am destined to be alone and outcasted, why am i different, your different your unworthy of a connection ,, then of course you will be petrified of it so when something actually rejects you thats the beliefs will trigger that same associated meaning.

Although, what were to happen if those beliefs were no longer where inside of you, well it would mean you would now become indifferent to reaction and approval of others to define 1 who you are, 2 if your are okay and three if it means your a good person. What makes us a good person is not by who likes us and doesn’t, it comes from the qualities we posses inside each of us. and if those negative associations were not there you would no longer, associate rejection as something meant or a reflection of your status as a human being.

so if your looking to deal with rejection, you are looking to deal with the pain that these beliefs cause in you, and i must admit whilst they are there its hard, but here is a easier way and it really took me years to figure this out. you can actually remove the negative beliefs associated with rejection so you can feel free to be yourself.

As well as old memories of rejection another experience that creates the need to be liked is growing up in uncertain environments, meaning that if you got on the right side of a parent who was always angry and could possible do something to hurt you if you were not good, well behaved and the epitome of what your parents likes in a well behaved child in there eyes,

it will also drive you to be what you think others will like in you ,and start disowning parts you think wont be liked. For example, if you were always told taking back is rude and makes you disrespectful well, you want to be liked as you needed your parents for survival so in ordered to be liked you will suppress your own say and opinions to be liked at the expense of your own self to survive.

The problem with the need to be liked is although it is doing what you think others like, people can sense neediness in others and it actually does the opposite of what the strategy is telling you its doing for you, at the highest level the need to be liked is trying to get you love connection safety, but because others can sense your trying too hard, it actually does the opposite of attraction and if anything inspires others to take you for granted as they can sense you need them to like you so you attract people who take your over niceness for granted. People are attracted to self assured whole individuals not people who will do anything in order to be liked.

Did you know the need to be liked is causing you to lose your charisma, natural attractiveness and others’ interest without you even knowing why?

Why do you have this need living inside of you? How is it benefitting you? You believe the following:

This need better helps me to be liked… helping me to feel more confidence in myself that others like me.

I believe that this thing will make me feel like a good, moral person.

I believe it will protect me from ending up alone.

If this is what you believe, the following short exercise will begin to unlock the lies stuck in your unconsciousness. Read the following to yourself.

The need to be liked motivates me to try and get others to like me, so that I can feel safe and secure, confident in myself, high self-worth, carefree, spontaneous, able to freely express myself, in control of myself, calm, in control of my mind, indifferent to the opinions of others, like a good, mature person who is able to be myself.

So therefore;

The need to be liked makes me feel: safe and secure, confident, whole, in control of myself, carefree, like I’m a good person, free, fully expressed, able to be myself, indifferent to the thoughts and opinions of others, at peace with myself, free and emotionally independent.

If you were to follow the logic of this need and really notice how it makes you feel, if we’re being honest, the need to be liked actually makes you feel;

Unsafe, insecure, needy, desperate, like you have no solid sense of self, out of control, shameful, embarrassed of yourself, angry, anxious, grumpy, frustrated, panicked, dependent, stuck in your head, confused, no discernment, you make bad choices, you feel blocked, isolated, distanced, mental confusion, boring, like there’s something wrong with you, limited, sad, and just like ‘what’s the point?’

So why is this thing living inside of you?

Over a decade ago it was discovered that unconscious memories are alive and static things. Old memories such as rejection, humiliation, bullying etc. unconsciously prepare individuals through a strategy, which is to get others to like them in order to render themselves safe from re-experiencing the unconscious pain again.

The only problem is that whilst this need is inside of you, your ability to attract the opposite of how you feel is almost impossible. This is because every time these memories are triggered within you, you are unconsciously trying to compensate by protecting yourself from the old hurt. Therefore as opposed to being confident, carefree, spontaneous and at peace, every time you are around others, you are constantly being triggered on an unconscious level for this emotional landmine stored inside of you. As a result; you get hijacked by this thing every time you are in the presence of others. Sounds exhausting right?

Through The Mind Resonance Programming approach, it has been discovered that you can systematically restore yourself back to a naturally confident, charismatic, carefree individual with a natural ability to engage in spontaneous, authentic conversations.

If you would like to find out more about this process, contact me via the link below to request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype session.

Article Signature

Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfill the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.

If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.

Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.

Click here to request your Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation

Article Signature

Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfill the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.

If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.

Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.

Click here to request your Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation

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