What is Adult Narcissism and the Symptoms Involved?
By Felicity Muscat
I have written this article to shed some light on what narcissism is, the cause and the cure for those with partners with this disorder and are suffering from the effects of having a limited personality centre being the main centre of your decisions
The world of Psychology labels the symptoms as the below
People who seem overconfident or too interested in them selves are often called narcissistic. Narcissism is a thought and behaviour pattern that involves many negative elements including what I want to touch on is how personalities develop in the first place and what caused the natural development of a healthy adult sense of self in the first place, which you can read below.
- Fascination with the self
- Excess self-love
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms
- Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements)
- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
- Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
- Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
- Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognise or identify with the feelings and needs of others
- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
- Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes
What is the cause of the psyche of an individual to being stuck in a trance like state of narcissism? Whilst studying as a psychologist, so called ‘scientists’ had not yet been able to find the cause of this. I left psychology and continued my studies with a Canadian Scientist and medical doctor who also felt the realm of psychology was limited in facilitating long term change. In my experience I have found the true cause of this problem in adults is a grandiose sense of self by which compensates feelings of inadequacy caused by constant criticism from earlier adult development, in my time in working with countless individuals I am yet to not cure a case and all of my working with clients lead back to the same traumatic memories lying dormant in the unconscious.
Narcissism is a serious mental problem in adults, As it turns out, narcissistic individuals reside in what I refer to as a “child-like trance.” In other words, they actually feel and believe themselves to be emotionally like a young child. Imagine being put in a hypnotic state where you think and act as if you were five; now imagine that that state never wore off and you simply acted that way in your relationships, your job, and even relaxing at home or in public. It has implications just about as serious as you might imagine for your life.
So how is this “trance” induced? Early in life, children are forced to adapt to less-than-hospitable social circumstances. This most often happens in the form of criticism.
A child who is constantly criticised comes to believe that he or she is:
- Lacking in self-confidence
- Unable to function in the world
These beliefs cause the individual, in turn, to feel:
- Hopelessly alone
These beliefs and feelings are profoundly painful. Not only that, but they are threatening to the person who has them. In order to cope with these painful feelings, the child develops narcissism as a defence mechanism. The problem is, the narcissistic tendencies cause the person to be ineffective and don’t allow him or her to progress emotionally past the age when he or she received the wound.
With the narcissistic trance broken, the individual begins to feel like a competent and confident adult, with the qualities of being:
- Emotionally secure
- Loving towards self and others
- And truly attractive to others and self.
How is this achieved?
From my years of practice, I have found narcissistic individuals are in a hypnotic trance where they are stuck at a younger age where the traumatic experience stopped the normal development of a whole centred sense of self. When I say traumatic, it doesn’t necessarily only involve abuse, it can simply be at the time of development that, instead of being parented correctly and having consistent and adequate attention to their needs, were unfortunately expected to parent and sooth a distressed parent. Children are not designed to have to coach and help adults and when this happens the child’s unmet needs internalise causing long term effects on the normal healthy development of self. This then contributes to a narcissistic trance-like, personality to develops, in which tries to recreate as an adult the focus and attention being on themselves as it wasn’t there the development years.
As much of how this trance-like state affects, partners who are involved with them as adults and this personality centre does, cause a lot of pain and hurt to its victims the world of psychology has failed to see what has, one created it and two failed to understand that if it can be created then it can be removed.
Children and people, in general, were not born with these states and are brought about as a negative consequence of neglectful environments. What actually causes the trauma in the minds of these individuals is the belief systems and thinking patterns, one has to take on in order to survive in such environments, belief systems like, I do not matter, I do not exist, no one cares about me, I am not important, I must gain my worth by helping people with their problems. as you can imagine anyone carrying these host of beliefs has unconsciously learnt, that love brings pain and hurt.
Their unconscious mind has therefore learn human love and connection brings pain, neglect and feelings of being unloved, as they grow up as adult, when they are carrying so much hurt and negativity towards people in general it becomes a easy decision to hurt others as adults, as we treat things and people by how we perceive them. For example, if you unconsciously believe that a spider will hurt you or potentially kill you, our survival instinct have been wired to want to survive, we therefore show no remorse or guilt in killing or hurting something that could potentiality bring us pain, so narcissists have been programmed to see human interactions as the same threat, and hence leads to them making bad choices and using others as their victims as a consequence However, there is another powerful implication: the only thing they have to do to get out of this harmful trance is to wake up. That’s it! The problem with this though is the narcissistic personality is slightly disconnected from the same parts of the mind responsible for discernment and judgement, in a healthy adult with a mature sense of self, the mind naturally has the part of the mind that judges self in tact, unfortunately the narcissist do not, hence why when one is confronted it acts in denial or defends, this is not their fault and in no way am i saying it excuses them being responsible for their actions, but more so is almost impossible for them to see self and have a natural desire to improve as those instincts are pushed into the unconscious and it is very rare that one will seek help due to failed relationships as in their own mind they are not too blame. It is, really only when one can see the affects on career development and feeling like normal adult responsibility’s are more difficult than normal that they will seek help.
The narcissistic person has the experience of their adult authentic self already fully formed inside, but it is divorced from the conscious experience. In other words, the mature, adult “true self” has been kicked out of the cockpit, while the immature intruder has taken over navigation and is causing the person to feel that they are childish and dependent on others.
In order to remove this state, the belief systems in which are casing this false self to be in the forefront can be removed if the belief mentioned above are removed permanently
I have helped many narcissistic individuals break free from their negative patterns, release their true selves, and become who they really want to be. My coaching process enables people who are stuck in all sorts of harmful patterns to reclaim their hijacked Life Authentic self permanently .
Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfil the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.
If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.
Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.
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