How to increase self esteem
By Felicity Muscat
Self-esteem is a value that you unconsciously place upon yourself. It is based upon choices that you make throughout your life and you will find that it fluctuates. The main reason why psychology experts have failed to increase self-esteem through many different approaches is that self-esteem is not dependent on external factors such as your job, your hobbies, your achievements, your relationship status or how much money you have.
Your level of self-esteem will forever determine the choices you unconsciously make. Have you ever wondered why for example, you choose the type of partner that you choose, or why some have better success in their career than others? When someone has been mistreated at a younger age, their self-esteem is affected. This, in turn, leads that individual to make certain life choices as a result of their lowered esteem. If you have suffered a form of neglect, abuse, or other negative experience, your unconscious programming will tell you the following beliefs about yourself (to name a few):
- I am ineffective
- I am unlovable
- I will never amount to anything
- There is something wrong with me
- I don’t deserve the best things in life
- I cannot function in the world
The problem is that the negative programming above will continue to run on auto-pilot, which causes you to make bad quality life choices. These bad choices then perpetuate yet more feelings of low self-esteem. As a compensatory strategy to soothe the pain coming from these negative beliefs, you will likely turn to relationships, addictions, and other dependent approaches to soothe your hurt.
As long as this unconscious program is running your life, the choices that you make will continue to negatively affect your life.
To make this simpler, I’m going to use an example of a person who was not loved as a child. Imagine this little child, growing up with an absence of love. The foundations for their self-esteem are already extremely poor. So this child grows into an adult and the memories of the negative events and feelings of not being loved will remain in their unconscious mind. As long as these memories are still there, that person will have what they believe is ‘evidence’ of their unworthiness. So that person feels a sense of unworthiness on an unconscious level and when they are feeling down, they try certain attempts to cheer themselves up such as doing something they enjoy, try not to beat themselves up, practising techniques they have learned to ‘find happiness’ – but unfortunately, with those negative beliefs and memories stuck in their unconscious mind, these attempts are all temporary and short-lived.
So, what is the long-term, permanent solution and how does one go about increasing self-esteem?
Over a decade ago it was discovered that old negative memories are like statically charged negative parasites inside the human body. This means that as long as they are there, they will continue to plague your emotional life; causing and reinforcing feelings of low self-esteem and self-worth; feelings of depression; feelings of unworthiness, and so on. To make it worse, as this program continues to cause you to be rejected by others, not get the job, not be able to keep any friends, not be able to hold down a loving relationship, it further reinforces feelings of hopelessness.
If you Want the Success Secret- What you must know about Self Esteem, and the Truth about Permanent Change in lowered Self Esteem. Hint you cannot find this info anywhere on the web
See Self-esteem and confidence are the foundations for the type of life, you can create for yourself. If you choose to ignore it the level of self-esteem and confidence will determine the things you can and cannot attract and basically what you can do and achieve in the world, it’s the foundation for everything else
What the mind can conceive it can achieve, well just because your mind can come up with an image. Does not mean you, which is separate from the mind has the confidence to actualise it, that’s the gap to creation
So, therefore, it makes it impossible to have the self-esteem needed to make positive change as well as the confidence to go after what you want whilst you feels and sees yourself in a certain way.
So how can you get a healthy self- esteem and actually, achieve confidence?
A lot of clients come to me after seeing psychologist, Nlp practitioners and are taught, how to anchor the state of confidence, that’s not how the mind works, you can’t anchor a state permanently, they come to me anxious about their confidence in themselves and or their confidence in their ability to do the things they really want,
I have been studying the human mind for ten years and through my own confidence and esteem issues was determined to find a way. If they got inside of me I knew I could get them out.
I discovered all self-esteem issues are created by how we take on beliefs about self, based on how others responded to us and this is fuelled by beliefs that create, certain states and feelings and low levels of esteem that get triggered at certain times. I also learnt that all negative beliefs reducing self-esteem can be removed as they were only taken on as a survival mechanism to fit in and not challenge those who implanted the negative messages we received.
It took me 9 years to figure out how to do this permanently, as I didn’t learn this from a book, or my degree, I learnt it through trial and error, over and over and I would love to share how easy it is, it is a process of changing the way you think, so knowledge alone cannot change the structures,
I am inviting you for a Free Diamond esteem activator session
In this 60 min session, we will make it about you and discover
How you truly see yourself wither it comes from an old experience and outline a plan to change it
Discover your secret confidence blockers
Uncover the obstacles to get free from the negative self-perception in the to balanced diamond-like self-esteem that is resilient to external factors like rejection and humiliation and get clear and confident in who were before these experiences limited you
Learn about which experiences, are shaping how you see yourself, learn the secrets where it comes from and learn, how to remove the negative self-perceptions lowering your self-esteem
You will learn the inside secrets of how the mind works
The step by step guide to Unleashing your diamond Esteem -The secrets to SUCCESS!”
Ready to Get Diamond Esteem, apply for a free 60 Mins Diamond Esteem Session and Activate Feelings of Self-esteem and confidence and decide for yourself if it worked.
Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfil the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.
If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.
Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.
Click here to request your Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Coaching Consultation