How To Achieve Success in Life, The hidden reason your success isn’t bringing you the happiness you thought it would
Sucess in Life
I Learnt The 6 Main Reasons As To Why People Do Not, Achieve The Success They Desire. Success in life
People are not successful and struggle to get there, as they are not getting to the root cause of the issue. If someone’s mindset is not set and programmed in a way that sees their desires as positive, as they have had previously learnt the thing they want is dangerous or will bring them, pain in some way, then they have been unconsciously programmed to repel it. Love, connection, fame, exposure, health, attention, money, friendships and because is seen in their mind as in having it will naturally bring something painful and or hurtful or unwanted into lives. Of these unconscious associates of pain it leads to the second reason, below I speak about how the mind is programmed, the reasons for relationships can be a little more complex, but lets just look at success as an example and for more info on relationships be sure to check out my ebook on the ten steps to a loving committed relationship with lasting attraction and passion.
You are unable to take the necessary action because you believe that what you want is going to bring you pain, beliefs and thoughts control behaviours and, these lead to an ability to take effortless action and or feel confused stuck and lost.
You do not believe change is possible as your mind has convinced you changing your situation is going to be pointless, always caused by low levels of self-esteem deciding for you what you can or cannot achieve or accomplish. If you were constantly put down you do not see success as away, you see failure as a set point you must accept, so the key to change is to change this set point, so you can start accepting success as your new normal, in my book below I touch on how to start freeing yourself of this toxic like thinking.
You do not have an effective technique to remove your own limitations, creating the reality you have now
Your mind has been designed to see life as stressful, painful and a miserable place and challenges as dangerous you believe changing your situation will be an impossible task because your mindset has taken on belied that it is just not possible, challenges are too hard, I can never really successful I am not going to make it so why to try right?
You do not have the skill set and the mindset congruent
One thing I learnt about growth it is doesn’t just take the grown, if I grow and believe I can have a successful business yes, that’s great that’s going to fuel my ability to take action, although without the skill set of talking to people and marketing my results would end up not so favorable, the thing is though if you do not believe it or feel worthy your not going to want to invest and take the necessary actions to get the skills you need to succeed your not lazy you mindset is just telling you it’s not going to happen
Reason 6 You fear responsibility success, failure and committing to the life you want. In which I outline how these fears got into your mind and how to permanently remove them. Find out find out why and how in my book below.
The Number one Mistake People make to creating change, and
The most crucial key to success……….
The biggest mistake, I see people make when it comes to lasting change in trying to attain the life they want, improved health, healthy perception of self, self-confidence, lack of stress over money, building a successful business, sticking to a routine and are moving from failure to success – is that you cannot fix your mind and get it to do what you want, by yourself or use willpower to change a habit or take action on a desire or use force. It takes years to understand the programmed fears you have accumulated as well as beliefs about yourself and the fear you took on that is blocking your path to success, beliefs and behaviours that are programmed to cause you to do what you do. Buried deep they drive an individual to feel stuck in every positive action they should be taking to improve their lives.
The second mistake I see is when individuals think they can use willpower for deeply ingrained habits. Yes, sure it can work on smaller programs, although you just can’t use willpower if your mind has been programmed to do a set of behaviours like to spend money, eat badly eventually it will revert you back to its set point of comfort.
So if you cannot do it by force or willpower to lasting change, then what is the answer?
You need to change the foundations of your thinking to help you have the life that you want. Every decision you make, every choice you choose, is being controlled by your mind, You know when the friend can give you advice on what to do or how to change something and the advice, book you read does not seem to absorb in or create change, well, anything you have tried to achieve, but have failed to do so up until this point is also controlled by your mind and not your fault. It is your responsibility to change the programs getting you the current results your getting.
I’m inspired to share a message about the
#1 MOST important element for success: Commitment.
It amazes me to see, how many entrepreneurs, Dream Chasers and individuals SAY they’re committed to growing their business, reach their goals and achieve the success they so badly desire, to get off the train of failure, sabotage, fear and worry about their future, swamped with negative thinking and excuses and jump on the journey to discipline, effortlessness, commitment and a resilience to achieve success but when it comes time to ACT like they’re committed, they stall or backpedal.
I know from experience that having a foot or toe out of any venture is a recipe for disappointment. Your business and life are no different. You’ve got to be in it to win it, every step of the way.
Because even if you’re close to being fully committed (like a 9 on a scale of 1-10), as soon as challenges pop up in a project a goal or a desire, you want to bail instead of riding the waves and growing from the experience.
I’m sharing this reminder as I am frankly tired of people telling you to commit, people pushing others to commit to something that their mind is just not able to achieve. It doesn’t take more commitment, more willpower and definitely shouldn’t take you having to push harder and then beating yourself up for it, and frankly, anyone who tells you that you should or stop making excuses has no idea, how the mind works to get you from point A pain, to point B destination desire.
The secret is,- Your mind is resisting the pleasure you are seeking, whether it be more freedom, more love, more success, more closeness, the ability to be authentically you, the ability to achieve greater success in your business or just being, able to feel confident in your own skin, simply as it was designed that way to keep you safe from the very thing you are trying to achieve as it thinks that the thing you want is a danger to your survival. Weird, right?
But, What if you knew how to rewire your mind effortlessly to see what you wanted or were trying to achieve to be a pleasurable experience so that it propels you forward naturally with excitement instead of fear,? Then what will you need to commit to.? Nothing really! The mind only fears something you have been negatively programmed to associate as a danger, meaning when you try and achieve it, the brain will signal your mind, to give you an excuse why you should avoid the action that will get you to your desired result. It works in mysterious ways, whether it is an excuse, you instantly become unmotivated, your body feels tired, you start to feel unmotivated, you procrastinate, or in the sense of a relationship, you start to nitpick. These defence strategies are not natural states and are not coming from you nor are your fault. They are just negatively association based on an old experience your mind is protecting you from experiencing again. Hence why a technique, or those who teach you their tricks to overcome it, only create a temporary result to overcome it and a band-aid solution that creates temporary spurs of action the procrastination, small success then for you to spiral down again.
What this means is……………To imply one needs to commit means that one needs to push past fears, feel the fear and do it anyway and push past the negative associations of the thing you are desiring to bring you pain. It just doesn’t work that way. Funny that!… It makes everything feel like hard work………
So what is the Secret to Success
We run from what we think will bring us pain and we attract what we feel will bring us pleasure, If success is associated with pain in your mind, for example, failure, humiliation or potential criticism of you becomes wildly successful, then your path will be tiresome. Yes take their advice and commit to pain and watch your mind resist success like it is the plague.
Your mind will then start feeling sleepy, more tired, less motivated and then you will beat yourself up for it saying, I just need to commit.. Okay, if that is working for you, then keep at it and I wish you well on your path.
If you do not feel like you want to have those viruses there weighing you down, the secret is to remove the things stopping you from obtaining it. That’s it. There is no technique, a special band-aid solution that will work.
The hidden reason your success isn’t bringing you the happiness you think it would
Humans have been programmed to attach to role models versions of success due to our human need to survive, for example, like success is a marriage, children a home a degree. No parents can ever have the true versions of success mastered with the pressures of raising children parents don’t intentionally mean to not embody a true version of success, what this means for you is you have been absorbing programmes to take on the version you saw not the one that suits you best or your unique journey.
Say for example a child sees a parent working hard to provide for the family working long hours, they pick up the message that success is hard work and means working long hours. The problems are these programs override the natural value compasses that are used to create a unique life and feeling of fulfilment for you, Values like freedom, travel new experiences, learning, development, contribution, creativity ect and happen to find themselves in these positions striving hard but feeling stressed over overwhelmed and unsure as to why the responsibility of it all together seems all too much
They become tired, They become stressed and their version of success turns to irritation, loss of energy as the psyche is holding onto too many programmed ties of success that does not work for them, controlling every decision they make and hindering any change and hope in the possibility of creating a new life.
So if our pre-programmed ways were not good for us ? what is and how do we start to understand what our own versions are of success is so we can start to create our own plans our own reality’s to suit the unique definition of success
We need to first understand what success is not and identify if we hold these beliefs to uncover our natural values that are the guidance system we need to create a path that works for us
Let’s determine what success is not
Success is not working hard
Success is not the mentality of giving up after one attempt
Success is not low levels of motivation and or feeling hopeless or what the point to life is
Success is not creating identity selves that I am lazy I am not a motivated, person Success is not a feeling of outside attainment to wealth, things, people ideals end results attainment Success is not money and wealth alone Success is not even providing for others alone
So if the above is not a WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A SUCCESS WHAT IS SUCCESS and what does it mean other than wealth, my career path and job in general?
Success is health
Success doing what you love
Success is freedom from doing and making wealth by doing anything that isn’t aligned to your natural skillset
Success happiness that is not tied to things people and attachment of ideas
Success is resilience
Success is the inner acceptance and wholeness that comes from the inner knowing that we only need to be our authentic self to be loved and accepted
Success is not being driven by the wrong values that lead us to unhappiness unfulfilment and things that lead to and depression and worthlessness
Success is the feeling that we can be alone in complete happiness and connect with whop we really are and having the confidence to be alone rather than be with the wrong people for company and to feel safe
Success is having a positive self esteem and self image of ourselves
Success is mindset
Success is control over mindset
Success is positivity
Success is joy
Success is kindness and forgiveness
Success is talent and clarity
Success is happiness and control over one’s choices
Success is being authentic freedom
Success is freedom to be self
Success is freedom to speak up
Successs is power to influence
Success is influential communication
Success is charasima
Success is the freedom to live life on your terms
Success is having the self esteem to not put others down
Success is growing to be the best version of ourselves
Success is having children who are loved cared for and are having not only ther basic needs provided for but emotional needs like attention love care support to stop behavioural issues emerging puttingbstress on the family
Success is having the ability to focus concentrate and obtain and retain the knowledge we need to improve our lives health and implement action to improve life
Success is having control over our emotions where the pain doesn’t lead us to self soothe with alcohol drugs and people
Success is the ability for responsibility for our selves and lives to be effortless and it’s not porgramed as its a representation taking responsibility means I will be punished of punishment where our minds procrastinate and give us excuses to avoid potential dangers
Success is having a mindset that is not damaged that cause us to hurt abuse and attack and criticize other people with our own pain projecting onto others and being overall stable, kind with boundaries with the self-esteem that is led by heart emotions of warmth love, care not anger aggression pessimism and cynicism all emotions driven by past negative experiences that are causing low emotions states to emulate to create stores of negative emotional energy depleting us
How do i know this, the reason is I tested my own mind and hundreds of others on what would hold constant feelings of success, it wasn’t in wealth or love or my career type, I learnt that success comes from the person you are and who you choose to be in the world, what you choose to do with your time and having control over your own word and doing what you set out to do installs feelings of success, the problem is when you have programs, they take over controlling your behaviours, your actions and the good intentions you set for your life, your real self is driven by false personalities and it creates a feeling of success to feel impossible . I am not saying you are not a successful person if you don’t have the above mastered I am saying that your self-esteem and confidence is deteriorated and your ego is attaching to things outside of yourself to feel success, what happens if one area collapses? does that mean your no longer a success, no?
well if you create the foundations of success based on who you are, nothing can be taken away, life is short and to have to live with constant flows of i am a success in a relationship or when I have my career sorted or for whatever reason you feel you must do or achieve to feel successful you are wasting beautiful time where you can be feeling, these states now. What happens if these areas fail well the truth is we were supposed to learn that we are successful because of the people we are, not because what we have accomplished or achieved, then no one not even our own minds can take that away and confidence in yourself remains the same, even if one of these areas fail, you can just change behaviours in yourself that is either attracting an area to fail and start again
If you would love to learn more about the effortless Path you can read more on attainting this state here