Find a Life coach that understands this
The Must Knows Before Investing in a Life Coach
Find a Life Coach and Executive Coach
Find a life coach and executive coach that works with every area of your life.
Learn the ten things you need to know before hiring someone to coach you in life, in business, or for your executive coaching needs.
I am Felicity Muscat; a business coach, mindset engineer and authentic lifestyle coach, based in Australia with clients all over the world. I combine psychology, spirituality, the law of attraction and mindset work to actualise success.
I wrote this article to help you identify the things you need to know about your mind and other coaching styles before you invest in a life coach or start executive coaching. Coaching may be a good fit if you feel like you are not progressing towards your business, life and love goals and / or feel like life is simply passing you by too quickly.
You may have worked with a coach in the past and are curious as to why your goals never seemed to stick. Even if your goals did stick, this article will shed some light as to why goals are more laborious than necessary, especially before you have an understanding of how your mind actually works.
At the start of this article, I will touch on the things that I have learned. If you understand these concepts, I will have completed my mission of educating as many people as I can. Success is and should be, effortless. I wrote this article to show you how it can be.
I encourage you to read this article before hiring a coach as without this understanding of human behaviours and how to change and shift thinking patterns; a lot of unnecessary sabotage is caused and time is wasted. Read on below before deciding for yourself.
An extraordinary life is created by an ability to take action. Actions geared towards success, are only effortless when our minds’ belief systems are (a) aligned positively to what we desire and (b) congruent to our real selves, not the personalities we took on at a young age to keep us safe.
If you believe that success takes hustle, grind, hard work, push, grit, or whatever you want to call it; that is what your mind will create. Obstacles at every turn.
Allow me to start with how I obtained this information. I didn’t get to where I am now by interviewing successful people and then providing mindset advice with only knowledge; as frankly, that doesn’t stick. If everyone who read a book was able to apply this knowledge to get results, they would be able to apply what they learned and adopt the writer’s thinking to apply the same actions and ultimately generate a result. Right? Wrong.
I could say to you, check the statistics as to how many individuals and businesses actually make it to wealth, but you could argue that success isn’t just wealth, money and status, and you would be absolutely correct.
Let us instead see how many people in Australia alone are given anti-depression medications. Let’s get clear on the root cause of all depression. Depression is the mind’s warning sign that something is not right and a person is making choices that are not congruent to the life they should (and could) be living.
If people could have more money, more love, more friends, more fulfilment, more control over their health, more business success, better mental and emotional wellbeing, from only gained knowledge, can you understand why our minds are signalling a warning sign of depression? I can tell you the answer, but I will leave that for my other article titled ‘The Actual Cause of Depression.’
There are several missing ingredients from just knowledge alone, which is why I help people succeed in obtaining their goals to create a life, and business that they love and deserve.
I am the person with the answers as to why you haven’t achieved the goals you desire. I have a solid understanding of why your mind does what it does when trying to live your best life, as well as the know-how of what is needed to move, shift or change without force. I understand the limitations in your thinking which when removed; will allow you to create the desired reality for yourself, effortlessly.
Our mind is complex. For example, one person may obtain a measure of success in business, but start to notice their desire for human interaction decreasing. Slowly their mind becomes overwhelmed and anxious, and they need meditation to calm their mind and allow them to relax from their to-do list.
Alternatively, it can play out with a woman who might have a business. She starts to notice that men find her too driven, yet she has a desire for love. I’m not saying you can’t be a driven woman and attain success and love, I’m saying that the mind tends to compartmentalize. Therefore, if the mind fears what you desire most, this can backfire by your mind taking away a desire for love in order to succeed.
In my workaholic days, my mind did this too, until I figured out why. I was then able to shift this limiting thinking. What I’m saying is, it is not supposed to be this way. We can have it all, and it is easy once you understand the machine creating the results.
The saying “feel the fear and do it anyway” was created as fear creates resistance. Fear creates us to be stuck, confused, with a lack of clarity around the how-to. What if you knew how to turn fear into a positive association? That changes the whole game. So, if you have a desire to be your best, and live your best life, this article is for you.
I have spent the past fifteen years learning the human mindset required to attain success and to unlock a mind’s ability to achieve goals effortlessly. No more being unmotivated, believing hard work = success, feeling fear and doing it anyway, as the experts say. You cannot learn the mindset required to attain success without the ability to apply the behaviours to get you there. As we both know, reading about a success mindset doesn’t create one; neither does pushing yourself to do it. So, if the above strategies are not all there is to creating an effortless path, what else is there?
I am the CEO and Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery and along my path, I have realised through my struggles that four main factors cause people to live an unfulfilled life and a life very far from their fullest potential.
These four factors are:
- Not having anything to look forward to
- An inability to achieve what you set out to do
- Behaviours causing inconsistencies in results
- Sabotage and not having a strategy towards success
Your vision of your goal is blocked by belief systems creating the opposing reality of what you actually want and desire.
These above four factors lead to people living a very cyclical life, where some months they get progress but then their mind pushes them ten steps backwards. This means a reset again. When the mind and emotions are put through these highs and lows, on a consecutive basis over a period of years, the individual starts to believe that it is easier just to stay-put and settle so that they can avoid the pain of failure emerging after they manage to get some results.
I learned that when the mindset is consciously aligned to the goal, the progress is effortless consistent and always moving forward. No more creating a vision for yourself, only to wonder why trying to reframe beliefs or using affirmations to push past your current belief system isn’t working. The fact is, if a belief system remains in our mind, the mind will find a way to take us back to a reality that affirms what we believe.
The Institute of Self Mastery was established to offer tested research on what works and does not work in the self-development space, accelerating results for individuals and businesses as well as steering you away from self-development modalities that can create and trigger states of immobility and anxiety due to the practitioner.
An understanding is needed around mindset triggers and coping strategies that get triggered when trying to change behaviours. Your beliefs will trigger you into a trance-like state making you feel unmotivated without knowing why and your coach may just be pushing you to do things you think are hard to achieve. These coaches do not know how to effectively remove a client from a painful emotionally charged state, hindering success in relationships, career and business and leaving a client painfully stuck in that state for years.
The Institute of Self Mastery was designed to deliver the best success advice in the field of coaching and psychology on long term cures to long-standing mindset issues affecting success.
So many people are not achieving their full potential spiritually, financially, in their career and love life. I help these people to show them how it can be effortless to discover their best self. My clients not only realise their potential, but understand that they can be effortless which allows them to feel empowered to believe in themselves, when I show them how to remove limitations to success and greatness.
“The saying “what the mind can conceive, it can achieve” is not always accurate. Just because your mind can come up with an image, does not mean that you, which is separate from the mind, has the confidence and belief in your capabilities to actualise it. This the gap to creation”
- Felicity Muscat
Proven and backed with fifteen years of research of the truth to achieve long term change; whether clients choose to work with me or not, my mission is to inform and educate so that people can make informed decisions.
Now that we know the background on how the mind works, I want to discuss what you need to know when selecting a coach.
When selecting a life coach or an executive coach, it is not essential that the coach has achieved what you want to achieve in terms of your passion. I know that may sound strange but hear me out, as your coach may not have the same desires as yourself. For example, some of my clients sing on stages and love that more than anything, therefore they want the confidence and business acumen to make a living out of it. I have a desire to dance for fun (not sing) however, I can still advise these clients on how to become successful from their passion.
If we look at wealth, fitness or business goals, when someone achieves a level of success, it is due to two factors. Firstly, they know how to and their mindset allows them to attain that level of success. They not only have the knowledge but have achieved the result you are wanting for yourself and are therefore better able to guide your decisions towards success, right? In saying this, the limitation I found is that they do not just need to know how to achieve the result, but also know how to help someone who has different mental challenges, beliefs systems and understand how this will affect their ability to get the same results when setting out to build a business, make a life change and / or get their team to perform better. We are all different and our belief systems will ultimately determine our success.
Just because someone has successful achieved something, it does not mean that they know how to remove obstacles in another’s mind that may be hindering this person’s ability to take the action necessary to get the result. Whether this is in their career goals, business goals and / or life goals. Let us say, for example, you hire a coach who created a successful business via Facebook live videos and ads. So you hire that coach to show you how to generate leads. What happens though, if that strategy possibly does not work for you, as you have a fear of being seen. Well, what happens is that when your new coach sets you that task, in their ‘how to successfully launch a business in ten steps’ course, you will procrastinate on the task set and not get the result. You may attempt it but are too busy judging yourself or fearing others’ criticism to keep it consistent and daily.
To further add salt to the wound, when you talk to your coach about not doing it, it will be hard for them to understand why you are not taking the necessary action to do the task they set. Because after all, they became successful using this strategy, right? They will start to say that you are not committed as a person or a business owner. So, you will try again to get the task done, but it will feel like a struggle. You will find a way to move past the fear and end up feeling anxious, not like yourself and like it’s all too hard. You will then slowly develop the belief that success needs to be hard as the coach didn’t address the underlying fear stopping that action from being executed effortlessly.
So, be sure when choosing a coach, that they are flexible and have several strategies to help you get your desired approach as well as have a solid understanding of human behaviour. Coaches who create a ten-step program automatically assume this will work for different personality types. If the actions that others took are hard for you to take because you feel afraid, it could cause you to give up prematurely, cause you to distract yourself, all of a sudden need to hang out with friends, procrastinate on things you associated with being a potential danger and the mind will create sub-desires to avoid dealing with that fear of being visible.
The second thing you need to question when hiring a coach or executive coach, is their response to your blocks or difficulties. I am not sure if you have noticed, but when clients do not do take the necessary actions, many coaches can become impatient and not have an understanding of what the exact cause is of you not taking action to create the change. When a coach or mentor, does not have the actual knowledge on what is stopping you – the client – from taking action, the coach can start to take things personally. They begin to use words like “you are not my ideal client” or “you are not committed enough”. Or maybe “I only want to work with committed clients”. Yes, it is good to have boundaries around the type of client to work with, but let’s go a little deeper into what causes a client to not commit to something.
To begin, let’s look at what causes a person to commit to goals and what causes someone to feel scared, uncommitted and have one foot in and one foot out. Let us say for example, you set a goal to lose weight, and you want it, but you keep losing motivation when it comes to going to the gym. Your body starts creating cravings as you are in too much of a caloric deficit or your mind says it is too cold out, so you stay home. Well, most coaches would assume you do not want it bad enough as opposed to seeing that there may be something causing you to avoid your goals and unconsciously your mind is protecting you by staying home, in an unhealthy state.
It could mean being healthy and fit could attract more potential partners, but what if that person has been hurt in a relationship previously. Well, their brain wants to keep them safe and will do so in several ways, meaning that it will sabotage their attempts for relationships entering their life by carrying unnecessary weight and yes, even creating a desire for the foods that will cause weight gain. So, it’s essential that your coach understands behaviours, as simply put, the sum of your success is determined by the sum of the actions you take to actualise success.
Every behaviour is driven by a fueling-belief altering changes happening naturally. It controls your moods, feelings and emotions, which in turn creates action or inaction towards success. So, ensure that your coach knows how to change behavioural patterns for long term success as this will leave you dependent on the coach if your mind cannot take action without them. As well as make you feel like a failure when your mind halts and loses desire and motivation for the very thing that you wanted.
The final thing your coach needs to understand is that your ability to succeed is not only dependent on your ability or inability to commit, but also the six reasons why people do not hit their goals in life, business, success, love, or health.
The number one mistake people make to creating change, and the most critical key to success is as follows.
The biggest mistake I see people make when it comes to trying to attain the life they want, whether that be improved health, healthy perception of self, self-confidence, lack of stress over money, building a successful business, sticking to a routine etc. is that you cannot fix your mind and get it to do what you want, by yourself. Neither can you use willpower to change a habit or take action on the desired goal, or use force. It takes years to understand the programmed fears you have accumulated as well as beliefs about yourself and the fear you took on that is blocking your path to success. Beliefs and behaviours that are programmed to cause you to do what you do. Buried deep, they drive an individual to feel stuck in every positive action they should be taking to improve their lives.
The second mistake I see is when individuals think they can use willpower for deeply ingrained habits. Yes, sure it can work on smaller programs, but you cannot use willpower if your mind has been programmed to execute a set of behaviours like to spend money, eat badly, have any kind of addiction. Eventually, your mind will revert you back to its set point of comfort.
So, if you cannot do it by force or willpower to lasting change, then what is the answer?
It is necessary that you change the foundations of your thinking to help you have the life that you want. Every decision you make, every choice that you choose, is being controlled by your mind. You know when your friend gives you advice on what to do or how to change something and the book you read does not seem to sink in or create change? Well, anything you have tried to achieve, but have failed to do so up until this point is also controlled by your mind and this is not your fault. It is your responsibility to change the programs getting you the current results you are getting.
The MOST important element for success: Commitment.
It amazes me to see how many entrepreneurs, dream-chasers and do-ers say that they are committed to growing their business. Their coaches tell them that they just need to commit to reach their goals and achieve the success they so badly desire. That they need to get off the train of failure, sabotage, fear and worry about their future, swamped with negative thinking and excuses and instead jump on the journey to discipline, effortlessness, commitment and a resilience to achieve success. However, when it comes time to act like they are committed, they stall or backpedal.
I know from experience that having one foot – or even a toe – out of any venture is a recipe for disappointment. Your business and life are no different. You have to be in it to win it, every step of the way.
Even if you are close to being fully committed (like a 9 on a scale of 1-10), as soon as challenges pop up in a project, a goal, or a desire, you will want to bail instead of riding the waves and growing from the experience.
I am sharing this reminder as I am frankly tired of people telling you to commit, pushing you to commit to something that your mind is just not able to achieve. It doesn’t take more commitment, more willpower and definitely shouldn’t take you having to push harder and then beating yourself up for it. Anyone who tells you that you should, or to stop making excuses, frankly has no idea how the mind works to get you from point A pain, to point B.
The secret is, your mind is resisting the pleasure you are seeking, whether it be more freedom, more love, more success, more closeness, the ability to be authentically you, the ability to achieve greater success in your business or just being able to feel confident in your own skin. Why is it doing this? As your mind was designed that way to keep you safe from the very thing you are trying to achieve, because it thinks that the thing you want is a danger to your survival. Weird, right?
What if you knew how to rewire your mind effortlessly to see what you wanted or were trying to achieve to be a pleasurable experience so that it propels you forward naturally with excitement instead of fear? Then what would you need to commit to? Nothing, really!
The mind only fears something and then generates an excuse if you have been negatively programmed to associate it as a danger. Meaning when you try and achieve it, the brain will signal your mind, to give you an excuse why you should avoid the activities that will get you to your desired result.
It works in mysterious ways, whether it is an excuse; you instantly become unmotivated, your body feels tired, you start to feel lazy, you procrastinate, or in the sense of a relationship, you start to nit-pick. These defense strategies are not natural states and are not coming from you, neither are they your fault. They are just negative association based on an old experience which your mind is protecting you from experiencing again.
Hence why a technique, or those who teach you their tricks to overcome it, only create a temporary result to overcome it and act as a band-aid solution which creates short spurs of action. Small success is achieved, only then for you to spiral down again.
What this means is to imply one needs to commit means that one needs to push past fears, “feel the fear and do it anyway” and drive past the negative associations of the thing you desire to bring you pain. It just doesn’t work that way. It makes everything feel like hard work.
So, what is the secret to success?
We run from what we think will bring us pain and we attract what we believe will bring us pleasure. If success is associated with pain in your mind, for example, failure, humiliation or potential criticism of you becoming wildly successful, then your path will be tiresome. Yes, take the coaches’ advice and commit to pain… then watch your mind resist success like it is the plague!
Your mind will then start feeling sleepy, more tired, less motivated and you will beat yourself up for it saying, I just need to commit. Okay, if that is working for you.
If you do not feel like you want to have those viruses there weighing you down, the secret is to remove the things stopping you from obtaining it. That’s it. There is no technique or a special band-aid solution that will work.
As well as not committing to goals due to negative associations of what you want, another important thing to consider, is that the coach can coach your mind back to restored health so you can excel in both areas. I feel this is essential as a lot of my clients, before working with me, were not able to get results when their coach didn’t understand how activating one area can potentially cause other areas not to be a successful and place a strain on other areas due to the focus needed. Be sure you know who is coaching you and what exactly they can help you achieve. Is it getting the desired result of more clients, more health, and more importantly can they assist you when sabotage kicks in and / or achieving that goal will create other areas to be less successful.
Another thing you need to know is, has your life created a life that resembles your version of success and / or are they adaptable to what is essential to you. This is so important, as if you find a coach that has a different set of beliefs and values than yours or a modified version of success, they will experience frustration and impatience when it comes to coaching you on yours. Say for example, if you find a coach that believes in work-life balance but they have beliefs that success comes from money alone and wealth is money and or success comes from working hard, then it will be hard for them to create and inspire the right action in you, to create a work-life balance as we can only teach what we believe and what we know to be true.
It is essential that they not only show it, but they also embody the success themselves, not only on an external view but mentally also. Are they healthy, do they have the mindset and have they done the growth themselves?
Another thing to consider is, does the coach understand how to read and see what your unconscious programming may be? There are many coaches that learn strategies for success, but unfortunately if your mind was able to do that it, would have already achieved it or found a way, and you wouldn’t need a coach. How many books are available in the self-development, business coaching, business marketing space? Millions! If knowledge alone was all that was needed to achieve success, couldn’t we all just read books and copy it? No, it doesn’t work that way for significant goals. I will explain below.
Unconscious programming is something you are doing, but not aware of. Unconscious programming is controlling every move you make. Unconscious programming is a multitude of habits that guide every move you make. Driven by fears, self-image and belief systems about the self and the world, unconscious programming is taken on as a child to protect you and how you see the world. As adults, this programming limits, restricts and makes your life goals seem impossible. This affects the way you eat, the way you walk, even the way you talk and think, and most importantly, it shapes the action you can or cannot take to get the desired results. It governs your communication, your work habits, your successes and your failures. For the most part, you were not born with these beliefs.
These beliefs are actually the accumulated inheritance of other people’s habits, opinions, and belief systems. Yet they remain the guiding force in your life. Negative and faulty unconscious programming is why the ninety-some per cent of the population keeps getting the same results, year in and year out. Although the good news is, they can be removed. Any thought, belief and negative behaviour can be removed.
Success is not a fancy or hard thing to achieve. Success is found and created daily in your daily routine to achieve long term vision creation, and that is only produced and mastered towards success if your mindset is designed for success. If it is not, your mind will generate excuses, procrastination and sabotage to ensure you revert the results to the level of success your mindset is worth receiving based on (a) your association of success and whether it is a positive or negative association and (b) whether you actually believe your skills, knowledge and talents are worthy of success.
Let’s say, for example, a client wanted a coach, to make better choices and / or increase her level of income. That is great that she intended to make the changes, but what if her mind and current beliefs are blocking that?
What happens naturally when she tries to implement the change, is dependent on two things. One, how much she believes she is worth, and two, the unconscious thermostat settings that are getting her the results she is currently seeing. If her level of worth is low, her behaviours will then kick in, such as unnecessary spending or creating an idea of a purchase she wants, creating an idea of something she wants, just to get rid of the extra money she was able to earn, then cause her to sabotage her goals and yes, only make the amount of money she feels she is worth.
Her mind will find ways not to save money, to ensure that she keeps her income at that level as she feels she is only worth this, therefore causing her to feel frustrated and feel like a failure as the extra money she needed to set herself up is being spent without her control.
With this in mind, through my own struggles to achieve success in the past and desire to hit my full potential and personal goals, I learned the most crucial step to success, which leads me into the sixth thing you need to know before hiring a coach.
If you would like to know more, if you want to change your results — really change them, forever — shifting your unconscious programming is the only way to do it. When that shift happens, everything becomes different. Just like THAT.
Alternatively, maybe you have difficulty meeting people. Altering the paradigm so that it becomes easy and enjoyable to meet people could have an incredible impact on your life. Or perhaps you want to take your business to the next level.
These are just two examples of hundreds of paradigm shifts that could be done in your life today.
Remember: there will be no permanent change in your life until the paradigm has been changed. Please choose one or two limiting ideas that are part of your paradigm and replace them with ideas that represent freedom to you. Consciously keep those new thoughts in your head, and act as if those thoughts are already embedded in the foundation of your life.
Before you know it, your life will begin to change — dramatically!
Are you thinking of hiring a coach for your personal life or business goals?
I offer personal-development coaching sessions, offering your own personal coach for any aspect of your life from anywhere in the world with your computer, tablet or phone. If you prefer face to face, it can be arranged if you live in Sydney.
Click here to read the next article: The Things You Must Know about Self-development Modalities and The Coaching Industry.
If you have tried a lot of different things such as NLP, Hypnosis, Psychology, Psychiatry, Sedona Method (Feel free to read my article on how the mind works and why other modalities do not provide permanent results) and you still feel like you’re stuck, then the Mind Resonance Process, will definitely remove the issue permanently.
See what our clients say:
This is no airy-fairy new age banter. If you dare to change your history, then Felicity has the knowledge, wisdom and grace to guide you into your highest vibration and your authentic self. She gets to the core of what’s holding you back in the shortest time frame possible. I am excited by all the possibilities that will unfold as I continue this journey.
- Adam, Sydney, Australia
“Felicity’s words have never failed to illuminate my understanding of myself. She has a unique ability to focus in on the problem that is below the surface. She brought the truth to me in a way that helped me see how it was possible to let it go, unlocking the psychological chains that were holding me back. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to work with her and my life is now exactly as I always imagined.”
- Ivana, Sydney Australia
“I was struggling with aggression, frustration and relationship issues and began to suffer from deep depression, and didn’t see the point of living. Since meeting Felicity, I have transformed my life and my marriage, and I wouldn’t have thought I could have. Felicity showed me how it was possible, and after my first session, I knew she was the coach for me.”
- Fatima, Sydney Australia
“I needed a Life coach, and I was searching for answers. I saw a blog post written by Felicity, and reached out as she was the first person who explained confidence issues the way she wrote about the causes. Felicity’s content of knowledge you cannot find on Google, this stuff is unreal and works.”
- Stephan, Sydney, Australia
“Felicity is unlike anyone I have worked with before; her career coaching sessions gave me a plan for my life and her ability to help me uncover it within and remove the path to not achieving it. I am so grateful for being told about her.”
- Tony, Sydney Australia,
“Felicity’s knowledge she applies in a business setting is a natural gift, her eye for business to create opportunity’s and free up 15 hours of my time per week with less work, it completely blew me away while removing the behavioural patterns that were causing me to work without balance. I went from being overworked, irritable, tired, to calm, relaxed and happy and 15 times more productive than when I believed that life is about working hard.”
- Michael, Perth, Australia.
“Felicity’s content and wisdom you cannot find through other resources. I know this because I was a knowledge fanatic, this reality shifting path stuff is unreal and it works.”
- Brett, Melbourne, Australia
“Felicity is unlike anyone I have worked with before. The plan we devised for my life was fantastic thanks to her ability to help me uncover it within and remove the path to not achieving it. I am beyond grateful for the confidence and assurance I feel day to day, in making it.”
- Simon, Toronto, Canada
“Felicity’s familiarity with what I was doing, yes, I had heard it before, so many other coaches had told me what to do. They couldn’t help me achieve it. I would do what they said for two days until I would go back to the same patterns. I was tired of pushing against my fears and resistance. I was ready to give up. Felicity sat me down and showed me why I wasn’t achieving it to date, and it was the first time I felt hopeful in my ability to get there. I felt relief that I was in safe hands; she knew me inside and out from the things I told myself to what I spend my time doing. For the first time, I felt that my business journey was the right choice and for the first time with complete certainty. I knew what I had to do and had a plan to get there and most importantly stopped beating myself up for not being able to do it myself. She was the first coach that directly said it is not your fault your situation is like this, there is no use it blaming yourself when your programs will help you create and make your current lifestyle choices. Although, you do need to face it, to change where you are going. I felt relieved and empowered, and after our work together, I am running a business, making a profit and a great one at that, not only that but by removing a few roles that were causing workaholic tendencies. I had lost passion and motivation and was ready to give up with no results. I was tired of hearing what I needed to do, without the ability to do it.”
- Maria, Sydney, Australia
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