Common Questions I get from Couples, and What I discovered about the Keys to Fixing and Sustaining Long Term Relationships
If you want to know how to create a desirable passionate relationship, even if you feel that it isn’t possible, you’ve come to the right place.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a former NLP Practitioner, and Mind Resonance Coach and Relationship Therapist, and from probing the minds of the singles and couples, is that love and our relationships to others really affects our confidence and self-esteem.
Romantics like yourself are never going to be happy settling for what you know as the norm, “relationships just die out after the honeymoon phase”, right?
If you love romance and you want to build the life and relationship you dreamed of, of lasting attraction, mutual interdependence, love freedom and closeness and lots more freedom, joy and abundance – it’s possible you are considering seeing or have seen a relationship therapist to help you with this.
Conventional couples therapy is a little different to what I do – I learnt from my studies and through my own relationship struggles that to change any behaviour pattern that causes relationships to fail, you need a lot more than just conversations and emotional support systems.
The way you think of and behave towards your spouse or partner is really determined by beliefs that either help you find success in your relationships, or cause failures in the crucial areas that keep relationships together, like sex, mutual respect, shared values, feeling loved, wanted and desired, met needs etc.
I learnt that communication alone and talking things out is really ineffective for major problems couples face, creating a loss of love attraction or liking towards each other and enjoyment in each others company.
Is it a good idea to see a Relationship Therapist?
Often, one of the most best outcomes of couples therapy is an increase in communication, and a major improvement in its quality. Communication is effective in expressing ourselves yes, and our ability to communicate can determine if we are heard and allow our partners to act on our feelings and unmet needs.
Communication in general can allow the therapist to see if there is any limitations in your thinking that may be putting unnecessary pressure on your partner or making him or feel responsible for things that are really not a partners responsibility for example, like being with you all the time and you feel upset that he doesn’t stay home ect and address underlying causes for tensions in the relationships.
Traditional Couples therapy uses Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), which is roughly 75 percent effective.
I find that releasing emotions is not enough to fix underlying issues, therefore I do not use EFT.
I use MRP, which addresses underlying causes for emotional responses. I find I am better able to serve my clients if I can help them just once and fix the true causes or the relating issues, so they do not continue to experience them long term. This allows them to actually enjoy the benefits that underlying issues can achieve.
Here are just some of the couples counselling benefits you can expect from our work together:
- Better communication with your partner and ability to communicate more often.
- Deeper connection as smaller resentments are released..
- More physical and emotional intimacy.
Why Do Couples go to a Relationship Therapist for Counselling?
My clients mention and not all reasons include:
- Are money problems in the relationship, or the spending patterns of one or both partners causing stress and worry to override feeling secure and positive towards the future,
- Sex either, desires creating resistance in one partner or performance issues of one partner affecting sex and intimacy and feeling of connection
- Most commonly – they are frustrated and emotionally drained and want to feel heard, seen and validated in their feelings
It’s my job to assess who each individual person is, in the partnership, ensure both are being true to themselves, that their needs are being met and values are aligned.
I also assess whether they both have the emotional maturity to create a partnership – not a dependent relationships or ‘follow’-ship which would create a loss of attraction, feelings of resentments and extra pressure on both partners in other areas of lives.
As a Master Mind Resonance Practitioner, relationships coach and couples therapy specialist, I believe that an extraordinary life is created by an ability to form relationships and create bonds to others.
We as humans were not designed to need space form other humans, or to be on our own, yes we can survive on our own but what is optimal for our wellbeing is being connected to others in relationships and community.
The problem with not being able to create this connection, is we create beliefs that we do not want, and start to believe relationships mean hard work, relationships are painful, I am better off alone.
If you would like to learn more on some foundational principles to create great relationships, download my guide below for the ten steps to creating amazing relationships.
Free Guide: 10 Steps to Amazing Relationships
Download: “10 Steps to Amazing Relationships” to start to bring back the attraction, connection and love in your relationships.
Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfil the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.
If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.
Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.