Self Confidence affects every area of our lives from our career, health and wealth to our relationships. That’s why I wrote this blog post on how to be more confident, to pull back the curtains on what actually needs to be done.
I am Felicity Muscat, founder of the Institute of Self Mastery. I’m a trained Mind resonance coach author of over 200 articles on Psychology, Mindset, self development and Confidence Coach, Sydney based life coach and working on Skype with clients in 21 countries, and Level 3 practitioner of the Mind Resonance Process.
My drive that propelled me to do this was that I would stop at nothing to master my own confidence issues. In looking for how to be more confident in my life, I learnt this simple understanding,
Self Esteem is not generated by knowledge or techniques – even if one is able to attain a small level of success by a technique or trick, their low self-esteem will beat them back down.
Self Esteem is the way one sees themself. It is shaped by external programming by the way we were treated or not treated and in turn, the creates negative self-perceptions we learnt about ourselves.
In order to change negative self-perceptions, creating low self-esteem, we need to remove the limited labels that are causing it.
As you know not having confidence does not allow for this. Having suffered from low confidence and low self esteem myself, I discovered the cause, treatment and a 100 percent effective solution to remove restore confidence and esteem.
Once one removes the negativity, the level of self-esteem increases and in turn confidence is then generated by the new self-perception and the results are, one can effortlessly make better choices to improve the opportunities available in the attainment of one’s desires.
As a practicing mindset coach, I help people break free from their limiting beliefs and struggles with love, life, and career and business, confidence and self Image using something called the Mind Resonance Process.
I have created over 17 life-changing self-development programs and assisted hundreds of people all around the world to Increase confidence, remove negative thought, assisted them on their personal growth, and most importantly increase there confidence level in themselves in a way that it didn’t revert back to being low.
These people come from all walks of life – speakers, artists, coaches, Individuals, Mums, Dads, entrepreneurs, business owners, managers, athletes – anyone who believes there is more to life but is struggling to realise it because of mental obstacles.
What Others Say On How to Be Confident
Today I want to talk about how to be more confident if you are wanting or desiring to make changes and become a confident person.
So let’s start by googling, how to be more confident.
Yes, I want you to google how to be more confident. You will see on one of the first pages or, if you you read up or look into a lot of self-development teachers online, plenty of talk about how to be more confident. They simply define it as being in a state of taking action or having trust in oneself.
While that is true, I want to look at this from the perspective of someone who is not confident. How do you move from being unconfident to confident?’
A lot of people will advise that the best way to become confident is to take actions in your life or to move towards the things that you want. And that, then, will then increase your confidence in yourself.
The more you action you take, the more confidence you will feel, right?
I want to reveal the problem in trying to obtain confidence this way.
The first is that, when someone has underlying fears like the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear that they’re not got enough – these fears actually reduce their starting confidence. No amount of taking action will increase their resilience to failure, or make them feel they’re now good enough to reach their goals.
People in the self development space. will say, feel the fear and do it anyway, and your confidence will increase once you’ve built up the confidence to know that you’ve done it previously. This is not true, as you’ll see in this simple example.
Say if you’re baking a cake and you have no negative association of baking a cake. Your confidence will increase, and you will feel more confident in your ability to cook. What will not increase though, is your confidence in yourself and who you believe yourself to be as a person.
Conventional Wisdom on How to Be More Confident Misses the Point
So how do you become more confident, and what is the true cause of you not feeling this way? The true reason, you are not confident to begin with is, negative beliefs about your capabilities like i am not capable, i am hopeless, i am not good at anything, will cause a person to try things, to prove you can do them.
The problem with this is, if the beliefs were not there, you wouldn’t look towards the outcome as to if you can or can’t to gain confidence in your ability to do it.
You would just have a inner knowing that you can do and master anything you set your mind to. This is the problem these days with people having these beliefs – they try 10- 12 times, and if they still can’t achieve, the belief then proves they could not. This is causing so many people to not reach their full potential.
The second, thing i want to touch on is, any time we try to make changes to reach our full potential, is that with these belief systems in place, our fears will be triggered –like the fear of failure or the fear of not being good enough.
In other words, by being exposed to these fears we learn something negative about us, so every time we try to take action, our brain will give us an excuse as to why we can’t complete that task.
All of a sudden it causes us to procrastinate and we don’t know why. What some people teaching how to be confident do not understand, is that the more a person tries to push themselves to do it, the more the person thinks that they are failure when they can’t.
Every time, they set themselves a goal and they are not true to their word, what makes them not true to their word is the fears are generating those excuses.
You can actually become more confident by removing your associated fears of what you’re going for so that you can actually take action effortlessly. Then, you can begin to build confidence effortlessly.
If you’d like to know how to do this, I have created a free guide you can download where you can actually start removing some your fears, and start to become more confident in your ability to take action.
Free Guide: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Coach
Download my free guide: “What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Coach and Attempting Your Goals”
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Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfil the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.
If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.
Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.