Do you feel like you’re always being drawn to relationships that are toxic for you? This unconscious attraction might be a sign of relationship addiction – a pattern of behaviour that will leave you feeling empty.
Why would anyone choose to hurt themselves in this way, and constantly enter into situations that is less than desirable? Let me explain.
Many people feel continually attracted to toxic relationships that are destructive emotionally, mentally and even physically.
Did you know this attraction is actually another form of addiction; much like addictions to food, cigarettes and drugs?
The force driving this relationship addiction is associated with feelings of emptiness, loneliness, low self-esteem, low self-worth, low self-confidence, and a deep feeling of neediness that makes such individuals helpless and unable to take care of themselves.
But it’s possible to eradicate your tendency for relationship addiction and replace it with healthy, respectful and self-respecting relationships.
Would you like to learn how?
How Relationship Addiction Occurs
All addictions are an attempt to soothe inner emotional pain from past negative memories of abuse, abandonment, neglect, humiliation, rejection.
These memories leave one feeling perpetually unlovable, unwanted, worthless, empty, useless, like a failure, inadequate, defective, deficient, needy, helpless, hopeless, ashamed, lonely, emotionally dependent and so on.
Relationship addiction occurs when the ‘drug’ of choice happens to be another person who is supposed to be able to validate, soothe, love, rescue, take care of, provide for, accept, appreciate and support the person who is emotionally hurting.
In such situations it often turns out that the second person i.e. the so-called ‘caretaker’ is also emotionally immature. Why? Well, simply because only another equally needy person would choose to take on such a task.
Any healthy, self-respecting person would only choose to have healthy relationships with other “healthy” people. By “healthy” here, I mean someone who is emotionally mature, whole, complete, confident, has high self-esteem, self-worth, self-respect, is emotionally independent and treats others with the respect they are due.
For such individuals the concept of self-sacrifice is not the definition of love, nor is it healthy.
Transform Your Relationship Addiction Into Powerful Self-Respect
So how does one go from being emotionally needy and immature to a whole, complete, emotionally mature and independent adult?
Well, up until recently it was believed that one had to undertake decades of psychotherapy in order to get “re-parented” by a therapist.
Not only is this impractical, it is also in my opinion, not even effective.
The reason I say this is that any positive shift from which individuals get from any form of re-parenting is only short lived. Although disappointing, it eventually helped a medical doctor in Canada to elucidate exactly why this was happening in the first place.
It turns out that the reason many people are trapped in old, needy and addictive patterns is because they are in most cases, totally identified with and trapped in the subconscious trance-movie they call their “life history” i.e. the story of their life.
If that life was one of rejection, abuse, neglect etc. then they were conditioned by such events to believe themselves to be (and feel) inadequate, unlovable, unwanted, unworthy etc. This creates deep emotional pain that many subsequently turn to others to have soothed.
What was also realised was that if the old negative early memories stored within could be erased, the person was progressively and spontaneously restored to their emotional whole and mature state.
A new process was developed to accomplish this outcome – which effectively extinguishes old addictive needy patterns and restores one’s ability to make healthy, discerning and self-respecting choices in all areas of their lives; including their relationships.
This process is metaphorically like waking up from a bad nightmare where one felt helpless and weak only to realise that it was just a bad dream. In the awakened state the person feels empowered, strong and capable.
If you are like so many, feeling trapped in a recurring pattern of toxic relationship addictions and would like to find the door to freedom, contact me via the link below where you can request a complimentary introductory coaching consultation to get you started.
Free Guide: 10 Steps to Amazing Relationships
Download: “10 Steps to Amazing Relationships” to start to bring back the attraction, connection and love in your relationships.
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Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfil the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.
If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.
Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.