Humans are social creatures, as Aristotle taught us millennia ago. We learn who we are by our interactions with others. Sometimes, it can be hard for us to understand how to not take things personally when others challenge our ideas, feelings and ultimately our sense of who we are.
Every day, we interact with many people. From the moment we wake up we are interacting with our family or our roommates; at school we interact with our classmates, or at work we interact with our coworkers; when we run to the grocery store on the way home we interact with people there.
We get along with some people great, and other people we disagree with at every turn. For some people, it can be easy for them to take things personally with almost anyone in their life. This tendency gives others an unreasonable amount of power over your decisions. feelings and beliefs.
Do you allow this to happen in your life? I want to share some advice with you, on how to not take things personally – specifically in your relationships, though, you can apply this information to just about anyone – including the stranger standing behind you in the checkout.
The Formation of Your Emotional Landscape
We all have a unique emotional landscape that we navigate when we are interacting with other people. Different things can trigger us, as if we were stepping on hidden landmines. We might think that this landscape should all be smooth and easy to navigate, but the truth is that it is full of hidden dangers that we do not even know are there until we are right on top of them.
This emotional landscape is formed by our memories of our previous experiences. When we have a negative social experience, this triggers our subconscious to guard against having such an experience again in the future.
We place barriers and guards around that area to prevent being wounded again. In doing so, we unconsciously create little landmines where we feel intense emotion when anyone comes too close to them.
How These Wounds Got There
In our earliest moments of life, we are completely dependent on others. When we are first born, we can’t even move for ourselves. We are completely helpless and dependent on other people to feed us, bathe us, change us, keep us warm, and cuddle us. When we need something, we cry to make our needs known.
When we are babies, we learn how the world is going to treat us based on how our parents and caretakers respond to us. If babies and children suffer neglect during these critical, formative times, they will learn that no one cares about them.
As we get older, we are still dependent on other people. The actions that other people take determine to a large extent the experiences we have and the actions we take ourselves.
At this age, we learn to blame other people for our actions, and we don’t know how to not take things personally when the actions of others challenge our feelings. This blame may be justified in the early years of our life, but it is also tempting to let it continue to ages where we should actually be responsible for our own behaviour.
So why do we cling to the tendency to blame other people? This habit and tendency starts in early childhood. From our earliest moments, we take the actions of other people personally. Our parents don’t come and take care of us, and we are hungry and dirty and cold. Our friends make fun of us, and we cry and have a temper tantrum. Our teachers don’t act fairly to us, and we get in trouble for things we didn’t do.
Babies and children don’t even have the capacity to know how to not take things personally, and so the wounds of infancy and childhood stick and embed themselves in our psyche and our understanding of who we are.
As adults, though, we are not dependent on other people. We can take actions for ourselves and think for ourselves.
How Other Modalities Teach Coping Mechanisms
Other self-actualisation techniques recommend that people think about the responsibilities of other people and oneself objectively. Do you really have to go along with what other people say? Is anything bad really going to happen if you disagree with someone? Is the other person’s approval really worth the suffering they put you through?
These techniques are helpful, but in the end they are only superficial bandages to the problem. They are based on the belief that other people hurt us with their words and actions.
The truth is that other people trigger our self-defense mechanisms that surround the wounds we received as children. Therefore, if you want to understand how to not take things personally, you need to think about the wounds, not about the other people.
How to Not Take Things Personally – Reclaim Your Life with The Mind Resonance Process
I have been studying other people and contemplating my own wounds for over 12 years. I have considered many different tools for healing. Over a decade ago, a group of scientists developed the Mind Resonance Process to teach people how to take back control of their lives. This process lets people reverse the damage that has been done to their psyches. This process gives us freedom to avoid the emotional minefields in our psyche so that we can live our lives the way we need to.
The survival mechanisms we learned as children are not necessary anymore. If we keep them around into adulthood, they leave us powerless and vulnerable. The Mind Resonance Process helps us learn to be free from these negative memories so that we can depend on ourselves instead of others.
People who go through the Mind Resonance Process come out feeling empowered and confident. They discover their own internal strength, and find that the words of others are powerless to hurt them. They discover the strength to end relationships that no longer serve them, and to surround themselves with people who build them up instead of who tear them down.
On the other hand, if you keep these psychological wounds untreated inside of you, you find that it is hard to discern and make healthy decisions. You are mentally reduced to the age that you were when that thought process was formed. A situation happens and you mentally revert to the level of a child; with every wound it becomes harder and harder to pull yourself out of this cycle.
If you are finding it hard or impossible to rise above the wounds you received as a child, and you desperately want to know how to not take things personally in your relationships, the Mind Resonance Process is the modality for you.
If you would like to experience for yourself what the Mind Resonance Process can help you achieve, download the e-book and sign up to request your free 1-hour consultation. Let me help you start on your path to emotional freedom!
Free Download: Want to See How MRP Compares to Other Self-Development Tools, and the Time you will Save in the Progress to Your Goals?
Tired of self-development only having short-term results? Want a tool that will 10x the speed of acceleration to your goals?
Click the button below to see the benefits of using MRP (Mind Resonance Process) to reach your goals, and how our clients are getting results.
Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfil the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.
If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.
Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.