There was always one thing that perplexed me when I was learning how to stop being shy. I didn’t understand why felt like I had this debilitating mantle that was restricting my full potential.
I would always find myself comparing the way I expressed myself to the world, to others who seemed to do it much more naturally.
If you are a shy person, like I was, you have probably observed how some people are able to express themselves freely and others do not.
If you’d like to challenge what is possible for yourself and learn how to stop being shy, this article will help you discover that you have free will over this mantle, which is guarding something that you most likely didn’t even know was there.
What psychologists usually do not understand about overcoming this mantle is that it cannot be solved by addressing specific behaviours alone, or even with the emotional release of the originating trauma.
What is shyness?
In a nutshell, shyness is a conditioned emotional program that constricts and restricts your full natural charismatic expression. It is conditioned into, and stored in your unconscious mind as various negative beliefs and emotions such as:
1. I am shy.
2. I’m afraid of making a fool of myself.
3. I can never think of what to say when I’m with others.
4. I’m afraid others will not like me.
5. I’m afraid others will reject me.
6. I’m a loser.
7. I’m defective and/or deficient.
8. There’s something wrong with me.
9. I have inherited my shyness.
And so on.
All of these are generated, supported and justified at the unconscious level of the mind by negative memories of early life, which disrupt your natural ability to connect with others. These include memories of humiliation, rejection, embarrassment, inappropriate intimate interactions and so on.
Once the memories get recorded in the person’s mind/body they literally come to “define” them i.e. they program the person to believe that this is who and what they are. Once defined, it seems almost impossible to push past.
What’s interesting is that these negative beliefs and emotions behave like internal hypnotic suggestions that limit the person. You’ve likely seen or heard of shy individuals who were able to be quite gregarious when placed in a hypnotic trance. This is possible because the externally supplied suggestions are able to temporarily over-ride the internal ones thereby allowing a measure of freedom of expression.
The key however is that the effect is temporary. Temporary because the negative memories generating the internal hypnotic suggestions remain firmly ensconced and pervasively producing the internal suggestions that erode away at the external suggestions thereby re-imprisoning the person.
The only real way to permanently free one’s self from this enslavement is to erase the negative memories and their accompanying beliefs and emotions forever. This is done easily with a new coaching process called the Mind Resonance Process.
Continue reading to begin freeing yourself from your shyness mantle, through the short exercise below.
Did you know that underneath the mantle of shyness is a deep fear of being judged, rejected, criticised, and humiliated? Did you know all that stems from early negative memories of abuse, rejection, abandonment, neglect, misunderstanding, humiliation stored in the subconscious mind that behave like “emotional landmines” waiting to go off and release their toxic emotional load?
Finally, did you know those landmines can be completely diffused by erasing/deleting the memories associated with them thus releasing one from the bondage of shyness forever?
How does one just learn how to stop being shy, you ask?
A negative memory isn’t a static thing, but rather it is very much “alive” and active in the subconscious mind. In many ways it is like an emotional scar that if re-injured, elicits the old pain it has stored in it. This is what makes emotionally “injured” individuals overly sensitive to others and to the uncertainty their life experience throws at them. In this way they often feel handicapped and find success harder to achieve than those less traumatised.
There is a strong desire to compensate for the deep pain one carries inside and one “compensatory strategy” is through shyness. You see, shyness isn’t just a problem – it is also a way of coping with the pain that is inside that person. In other words it is employed as a way to help one function in the world.
Does that seem surprising or contradictory to you? Most individuals are too focused on seeing shyness as a problem that they miss the fact that it is actually being used for something.
Now please don’t misunderstand me, I am not suggesting that shyness is in any way “useful” – but rather it is in pursuing how it is subconsciously “thought” to be useful that one can find the key to erasing it completely and permanently.
Let me give an example to help you begin to shift out of your shyness.
As I said, shyness is a way of protecting ones self from being or feeling rejected. That means there is a deep fear of rejection underneath that shyness. How does that fear serve you?
Well if we look at it closely one might say that it motivates them to be hyper-alert to potential rejection… so that they can be prepared for it… so that they can avoid it. If that is the case then they would supposedly feel safe, secure, relaxed, calm, confident, carefree, able to be spontaneous by themselves, authentic, honest, fully self expressed, strong, resilient, and indifferent to the opinions of others.
So what is being suggested here is that the fear of rejection makes one feel all the above.
Does that sound true or false? Well, if you compare it to how it actually feels to be caught in that fear, I think you’ll quickly see that the statement is false.
So, now take a moment and notice how you react to the following short simulation:
You are going over to your friend’s house and when you get there and he/she answers the door. A big cheer goes out from over 100 people who are there to celebrate your surprise birthday. Many of these people you have never met before. Many of them come over to you during the party to talk to you. Now stop and notice how you are feeling. Notice if anything about your reaction surprises you. Often after going through the short exercise above individuals will feel much more open, confident, relaxed, and able to enjoy the experience of meeting perfect strangers. In other words, their shyness, albeit not completely gone, will have diminished significantly.
The reason it is diminished is because rejection is not something they need to defend against in the same way as before. That is because it has been partially erased. Now, it is not completely gone because there is a bit more to this process.
To fully erase it one must also erase the negative memories from the past stored within you that are responsible for and are generating that fear. In doing so you allow your spontaneous charismatic self to push past this false mantle.
So if you wish to follow up on this and learn how to stop being shy, click on the link below to request a free introductory telephone/Skype consultation that will help you begin to completely erase/delete shyness and its roots from your life.
Free Guide: What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Coach
Download my free guide: “What You Need to Know Before Hiring a Coach and Attempting Your Goals”
Free Download: Want to See How MRP Compares to Other Self-Development Tools, and the Time you will Save in the Progress to Your Goals?
Tired of self-development only having short-term results? Want a tool that will 10x the speed of acceleration to your goals?
Click the button below to see the benefits of using MRP (Mind Resonance Process) to reach your goals, and how our clients are getting results.
Felicity Muscat is the Founder of The Institute of Self Mastery which was created to help others fulfil the truest, highest, and most authentic expression of themselves in all areas of life.
If you have tried other approaches that have failed and are ready for change, request a complimentary introductory phone/Skype coaching consultation to help you get started on your journey back to your peak performing empowered and alive self today. To learn more and explore others’ success stories, download Felicity’s eBooks.
Felicity Muscat, former psychologist is now an international self-esteem, self-empowerment, and self-mastery life coach. Felicity is also a relationship and success coach, author of three best-selling books and Level 3 mind resonance coach.